I love that LRW,that ones gonna take some beating!
Here's my next one, its called 'Ode to a racing driver'. This one was definitely in the writing competition so i think most of you will have seen it. apologies in advance if you're a Jenson Button fan, but this is a poem so I'm allowed to use poetic licence.
To refresh memories, here are a few pointers of things to look out for in the poem.......
General moaning and whinging,
Excuses for poor performance
Backstabbing
Brown-nosing the boss
Two facedness
Taking out Lewis -Canada
Ignoring team orders to turn down engine and hold station
His ding dong with Perez and his appeal to the team for help
His crashing in on Martins tv interview.
ODE TO A RACING DRIVERThe whingers and groaners and radio moaners,
Shakers and movers when not on the track.
Smile, oh so nicely , ‘I’m everyone’s mate!!’
You don’t see the knife until its too late.
The wheelers and dealers who don’t miss a trick,
Cool operators whose actions are slick.
They play for the camera and talk themselves up,
Smooch the team boss like a love sick pup.
You can almost here the shout,
“Martin, Martin, help me out!
Tell them just how good I am!
What a leader! What a man!
Not my fault when things amiss,
Come here Martin, giz a kiss!”
They struggle with balance, can’t find the grip,
You often seem to hear them quip.
“Not my fault the car feels weird,
My helmets stuck in my straggly beard.
The wind has changed, the backs too loose,
I think I just ran over a goose.
Got no power, set up wrong,
The brake pedal feels too long.”
“KEEP HIM BACK, KEEP HIM BACK!
I’m the leader of this pack.”
‘Take that!’ The wheel turns in.
‘I want to win, I want to win!’
“What’s he doing!”Comes the cry.
(Now that was a little sly.)
Partner firmly in the wall,
Ha, result! Now let’s play ball!
Turn down engines, no overtakin
“MIKE NOT WORKIN ’! MIKE NOT WORKIN’!”
‘That was easy, now I’m past.
He’s back in front! God he’s fast!’
“He’s hit me! He’s hit me! That’s not allowed!
Come on guys, he’s messin’ around!
Sort him out, he’s in my face,
I can’t have a newbie on my pace!”
After race, and Martin’s on tele,
Up runs driver, fire in his belly!
“He hit me! He hit me! He’s such a bad boy!
He used his car like a Tonka toy!”
“But sir, you drove him off the road,
Tell us about that while you’re talkin’”,
“MIKE NOT WORKIN’! MIKE NOT WORKIN’!”