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Post by pistnbroke on May 6, 2015 20:06:24 GMT
Has everyone heard the story about the lady in the bath tub with a lobster?
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Post by Wß on May 6, 2015 20:18:41 GMT
Cooked or live?
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Post by RyRy on May 6, 2015 22:01:13 GMT
Either sounds messed up lol
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Post by pistnbroke on May 6, 2015 22:09:32 GMT
The lobster was alive
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Post by pistnbroke on May 6, 2015 22:14:37 GMT
Upon googling the story it turns out to be an urban legend.
However here is the story.... RC this might not be a read for you.
Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5 am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.
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Post by racechick on May 6, 2015 23:28:33 GMT
That is GROSS!!!! HORRID!! title of this thread Jabs is NICE animal stories. I've got the shivers now just thinking about that. It's like a horror story!
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Post by pistnbroke on May 6, 2015 23:30:18 GMT
I did say you might not like it.
I will find a nice story for you :-)
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Post by racechick on May 6, 2015 23:36:17 GMT
Thanks Jab. I'll look forward to the nice story!!
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Post by RyRy on May 7, 2015 4:09:23 GMT
I did say you might not like it. I will find a nice story for you :-) I laughed too much knowing that RC would find that... Distressing, thankfully it's an urban legend.
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Post by racechick on Jan 26, 2016 8:14:05 GMT
This is just a gorgeous video!!!!!
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Post by stonemonkey on Jan 26, 2016 19:17:20 GMT
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Post by racechick on Jan 26, 2016 20:07:24 GMT
Jesus!!!!
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Post by Wß on Jan 26, 2016 20:24:37 GMT
^^That's like a step away from intestinal worms as a means of weight reduction.
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Post by RyRy on Jan 28, 2016 1:24:35 GMT
How on earth did you find that Stoney... you must have an interesting search history!
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Post by racechick on Jan 28, 2016 7:19:17 GMT
Title of this thread...NICE animal stories, NICE!
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Post by Hammer on Jan 28, 2016 7:23:35 GMT
Q. How can I get some?
You are what we call a bug chaser. You want the gift. The best way to get bred is the all natural route. Ask around till you find someone who's got 'em. Then, you know what to do. Just make sure you grind a lot and hold it all the way in for a while afterwards.
They're definitely spreading. I've seen them at school and in the club scene. Most of the clubs I hit have an active infestation going.
If you're a pretty girly in the metro area and you wanna get polinated, then email me and maybe we can get together.
But, if you're cool but you live way out in north bum fuck, I guess I can help you out. I'm trying this to see how it goes but paypal me .99 cents and I'll send you some eggs (they call them 'nits'). I'm a giver.
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Post by LRW on Jan 29, 2016 7:52:09 GMT
Hammer - Im not even sure if you are in the correct thread?
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Post by racechick on Jan 29, 2016 8:00:01 GMT
Well he is and he isn't. Itchy things in your pants should NOT be in my 'nice animal stories' thread. But since they are in the thread, that's what Hammer is on about.
I'm now going to go and find a nice animal story so we can leave behind cultivated, itchy, wriggly, knicker inhabiting creatures.
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Post by Hammer on Jan 29, 2016 8:04:51 GMT
Hammer - Im not even sure if you are in the correct thread? I took an excerpt from Stoney's highly disturbing link.
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Post by LRW on Jan 29, 2016 8:10:59 GMT
Oh I see. I elected not to read that link.
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