Post by racechick on Jul 28, 2015 22:45:14 GMT
MY FIRST ALPINE CYCLE RIDE.
It started well. I walked out of the garage and I looked the part! New bike, cycle top, shorts, helmet. Chris Froome eat your heart out! I'd watched a bit of the Tour, and it didn't look too bad, and I wouldn't be going anywhere near their distances.
So off we go. And immediately hit a snag. My feet have to go in little cages and then get strapped in there. Ok, left foot in little cage and strapped, right leg over bike......now what? How do I get my second foot in the little cage and strapped, while I'm going along? Impossible. I try to just get my foot in the little cage, peddle flips upside down, and it won't go back the right way. This is stupid! I'm now trying to peddle with one leg, and twist the peddle round with the other foot. It's not working. Luckily we're on the flat at this point. In the end I decide to just use the peddle upside down. That immediately proves a bad decision because the strap dangling from the cage is now either dragging on the floor or getting stuck in the wheels and the chain. I have to stop. Back to the garage, screwdriver out and straps removed from peddles. I am not popular. TELLING OFF NUMBER ONE
So we set off again, and this time all I have to do is get my feet in the little cages, no straps. Eventually I manage to flip the second peddle the right way up, I am ecstatic! I am riding my bike in the Alps!! Then I hear the words "set your gears for uphill". A word here about gears. My bike at home has a nice little gear button on the right . I click it up if I want to go downhill, and down if I want to go uphill. Odd way round, but I learnt it. And it told me what number I was in. This bike has no such nicety. I have been told that I have to flick the brake sideways, that's equivalent to clicking my other bike down, if I want to go up; and I have a button above the brake that I have to press if I want to go down. Okay, okay, I've got to get ready to go up so......I have to flick the brake! I try, nothing happens, try again, nothing happens.
" It won't work, my gear won't work! "
"You have to peddle when you're changing gear, keep peddling!"
TELLING OFF NUMBER TWO
Okay, keep peddling, keep feet in little cages and flick brake sideways. Yes! It's worked. I flick and flick. Whoooppeee. That's it, now I'm ready for the uphill bit! Then I hear "Now set your front wheel to the smaller cog" .
"WHAT?? I've done all my flicking!"
" You need to use your other hand and change the front gear"
Oh god, oh god. Other hand. I grab the brake and start trying to flick it. Nothing happens.
"It's not working and Im peddling"
"You press the button! It's the opposite to what your right hand does! TELLING OFF NUMBER THREE.
I press the button and my legs go very easily round and round. It must have worked. I will never ever remember all that pressing routine if I have to do this gear changing quickly. We turn out of the small lane onto a road and I'm so preoccupied with trying to remember gears that I forget which side of the road I should be on. TELLING OFF NUMBER FOUR.
Things now improve, I'm on the right side of the road, in the right gear, and peddling. I'm going uphill on my bike. YEY! This isn't too bad. Up and up and up. I then become aware of the saddle. I become aware of it because if feels like someone has been poking sticks between my legs. What is it with bike seat designers? How do they come up with that seat shape? Do they have meetings to decide on the best shape for a saddle.
Saddle designer 1 'Lets's make a plastic bucket seat that hugs the bottom and we'll line it with spongey material for comfort.'
Saddle designer 2 ' Lets make a seat like a hard thin wedge . It will feel like someone is poking sticks up you'
Unanimous decision to go with saddle designer 2.
We continue up. My back is now aching, my wrists hurt, and that paddy bit of my hand hurts, my bottom feels bruised and my 'bits' have gone from feeling like sticks have been poked up there, to numb. I prefer numb! I think I must just stop for just a little rest, but that's not really my style, to give in, and also, if I stop, however will I get my feet back in the little cages on a steep incline. No chance. With horror I realise that I can never stop when going uphill if I ever hope to start off again.
Then...joy!! I see the right hand turn that will lead back to the chalet...it's a circular trip. Downhill bit coming. Oh yes!!
I've been holding the handlebars at the top, but on the downhill I have to change them to hold the curved bit, because then I can reach the brakes. So brakes squeezed on I start the descent.
"Change your gear! "
Oh shit, the gear! What do I do? Think, think. I have to do something with my left hand first. Is it flick brake lever, or is it press button? I go through my remembering routine and work out that it must be flick the brake lever. I'm now quite a way down the hill and have not actually done anything yet apart from cling madly onto the brakes. My hands aching even more now.
"CHANGE YOUR GEAR!!" TELLING OFF NUMBER FIVE
"I am, I am" I quickly flick the brake lever and the gear is changed! Phew.
"Change the other wheel!"
Jesus! Is there no end to this. Okay so this time it must be the right hand. It was flick last time, so this time it must be button press. But I can't reach the button because my hand is squeezing the brake.
"I can't. I'll just keep like this"
"What do you mean you can't?" TELLING OFF NUMBER SIX.
I have to risk life an limb, take the right brake off and press the button. Not just once....but lots of times!
But that is it. I can now cruise back to the chalet.
First bike ride completed. This was just a trial ride, it lasted about half an hour in all. On Thursday I have to cycle up to the Col Du Petite St. Bernard and over into Italy. It's a Col the Tour de France came over a few years back. I thought cycling in the beautiful Alps would be relaxing, but it's SO stressful! Ah well. I'll not think about Thursday just yet.
It started well. I walked out of the garage and I looked the part! New bike, cycle top, shorts, helmet. Chris Froome eat your heart out! I'd watched a bit of the Tour, and it didn't look too bad, and I wouldn't be going anywhere near their distances.
So off we go. And immediately hit a snag. My feet have to go in little cages and then get strapped in there. Ok, left foot in little cage and strapped, right leg over bike......now what? How do I get my second foot in the little cage and strapped, while I'm going along? Impossible. I try to just get my foot in the little cage, peddle flips upside down, and it won't go back the right way. This is stupid! I'm now trying to peddle with one leg, and twist the peddle round with the other foot. It's not working. Luckily we're on the flat at this point. In the end I decide to just use the peddle upside down. That immediately proves a bad decision because the strap dangling from the cage is now either dragging on the floor or getting stuck in the wheels and the chain. I have to stop. Back to the garage, screwdriver out and straps removed from peddles. I am not popular. TELLING OFF NUMBER ONE
So we set off again, and this time all I have to do is get my feet in the little cages, no straps. Eventually I manage to flip the second peddle the right way up, I am ecstatic! I am riding my bike in the Alps!! Then I hear the words "set your gears for uphill". A word here about gears. My bike at home has a nice little gear button on the right . I click it up if I want to go downhill, and down if I want to go uphill. Odd way round, but I learnt it. And it told me what number I was in. This bike has no such nicety. I have been told that I have to flick the brake sideways, that's equivalent to clicking my other bike down, if I want to go up; and I have a button above the brake that I have to press if I want to go down. Okay, okay, I've got to get ready to go up so......I have to flick the brake! I try, nothing happens, try again, nothing happens.
" It won't work, my gear won't work! "
"You have to peddle when you're changing gear, keep peddling!"
TELLING OFF NUMBER TWO
Okay, keep peddling, keep feet in little cages and flick brake sideways. Yes! It's worked. I flick and flick. Whoooppeee. That's it, now I'm ready for the uphill bit! Then I hear "Now set your front wheel to the smaller cog" .
"WHAT?? I've done all my flicking!"
" You need to use your other hand and change the front gear"
Oh god, oh god. Other hand. I grab the brake and start trying to flick it. Nothing happens.
"It's not working and Im peddling"
"You press the button! It's the opposite to what your right hand does! TELLING OFF NUMBER THREE.
I press the button and my legs go very easily round and round. It must have worked. I will never ever remember all that pressing routine if I have to do this gear changing quickly. We turn out of the small lane onto a road and I'm so preoccupied with trying to remember gears that I forget which side of the road I should be on. TELLING OFF NUMBER FOUR.
Things now improve, I'm on the right side of the road, in the right gear, and peddling. I'm going uphill on my bike. YEY! This isn't too bad. Up and up and up. I then become aware of the saddle. I become aware of it because if feels like someone has been poking sticks between my legs. What is it with bike seat designers? How do they come up with that seat shape? Do they have meetings to decide on the best shape for a saddle.
Saddle designer 1 'Lets's make a plastic bucket seat that hugs the bottom and we'll line it with spongey material for comfort.'
Saddle designer 2 ' Lets make a seat like a hard thin wedge . It will feel like someone is poking sticks up you'
Unanimous decision to go with saddle designer 2.
We continue up. My back is now aching, my wrists hurt, and that paddy bit of my hand hurts, my bottom feels bruised and my 'bits' have gone from feeling like sticks have been poked up there, to numb. I prefer numb! I think I must just stop for just a little rest, but that's not really my style, to give in, and also, if I stop, however will I get my feet back in the little cages on a steep incline. No chance. With horror I realise that I can never stop when going uphill if I ever hope to start off again.
Then...joy!! I see the right hand turn that will lead back to the chalet...it's a circular trip. Downhill bit coming. Oh yes!!
I've been holding the handlebars at the top, but on the downhill I have to change them to hold the curved bit, because then I can reach the brakes. So brakes squeezed on I start the descent.
"Change your gear! "
Oh shit, the gear! What do I do? Think, think. I have to do something with my left hand first. Is it flick brake lever, or is it press button? I go through my remembering routine and work out that it must be flick the brake lever. I'm now quite a way down the hill and have not actually done anything yet apart from cling madly onto the brakes. My hands aching even more now.
"CHANGE YOUR GEAR!!" TELLING OFF NUMBER FIVE
"I am, I am" I quickly flick the brake lever and the gear is changed! Phew.
"Change the other wheel!"
Jesus! Is there no end to this. Okay so this time it must be the right hand. It was flick last time, so this time it must be button press. But I can't reach the button because my hand is squeezing the brake.
"I can't. I'll just keep like this"
"What do you mean you can't?" TELLING OFF NUMBER SIX.
I have to risk life an limb, take the right brake off and press the button. Not just once....but lots of times!
But that is it. I can now cruise back to the chalet.
First bike ride completed. This was just a trial ride, it lasted about half an hour in all. On Thursday I have to cycle up to the Col Du Petite St. Bernard and over into Italy. It's a Col the Tour de France came over a few years back. I thought cycling in the beautiful Alps would be relaxing, but it's SO stressful! Ah well. I'll not think about Thursday just yet.