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Post by RyRy on Oct 26, 2015 3:13:35 GMT
I'm sure many of you have some friends and also some "friends" who are more of associates... For me personally I define my friends as someone who I talk to, someone who talks to me, shows respect, considerate, is honest and will take time to talk to you if something is wrong and enjoys talking to you and obviously vice versa. There are even a few people, one especially who I adore because she is one of the most awesome people in the world, she knows I love her to bits (friends) and she randomly sends a lovely, very sweet and caring message which totally makes my day. There have been true friends in the past who I would talk with literally on a daily basis who... out of nowhere just don't bother being a friend anymore and it is really disappointing when that happens, it's usually when they find a new friend (someone better?) or become interested with some other guy and then no longer have any time for you even if it's purely a friendship between you. The worst ones of all are those who read your messages and just don't reply... I'll drop them a follow up message a few months later and if I don't get a reply I'll just remove them from my contacts. Today's my Birthday and I find it really telling when it comes to those friends based on the contents of the happy birthday message you get from them, unlike some people if someone doesn't wish me happy birthday when they are a true friend I don't get all mad, I realise people forget, don't see, don't realise or just don't have time. For me personally, if someone just puts something rather thoughtless like just "happy bday" I test the water a week or so later and just send them a message something like "hey ****, how are you!?" and depending on the message back decides on if I'll put the effort out to chat to them. I weed down my "friends" into friends by doing this and find out those who are truly a friend. My questions for you guys and girls are is, how many true friends do you have and do you have any similar mechanisms to find out who is a friend and who is a "friend"Psst, I consider you all friends because you're respectful, considerate, talk to me (talk as a group), I talk to you guys and girls and are honest as far as I can tell  I'm sure if I dropped any of you a message asking for advice on something I'd get some advise back and likewise I would do the same for you  (RC is my F1 mum haha) |
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Post by LRW on Oct 26, 2015 7:24:06 GMT
I've been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of a way of just ignoring you - or sending a "happy bday" equivalent. But I can't work it out so I'll reply sensibly.
I feel I'm quite lucky. I probably have about half a dozen very good friends that I know I could turn to in an instant and if I needed help - they'd do anything they could to help me.
For me friendship isn't about how often we chat, but how it flows when we do. Some of my friends, because of outside commitments we might not speak or see each other for a couple of months. But as soon as we start talking we just pick right back up. None of this "oh I'm sorry man, I've been busy...". We all understand each other's lives and all work round each other. But the love is still there.
I've got another couple of friends that I've known for 22 years. We met in college. We were part of a big mixed group and from the age of 17-21 it was the time of my life. We partied every weekend, and met at the pub most week nights. We now only meet once a year now - but we've all gone through so much as friends that there is that bond that time and distance can't break. That's true friendship.
One thing I don't like is people who have 500+ Facebook 'friends'. Oh do fuck off - people you met once hiking the Inca Trail do not count. I generally keep my FBook friends at around 100-110.
Joey is my favourite Friend.
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Post by Hammer on Oct 26, 2015 7:54:14 GMT
I pretty much echo LRWs post. I have a few cliques from work/university/close mates where we hang out at least once a month or so, and sometimes there are periods we just don't talk at all but there's no apologies required since we all have a life outside our groups as well. My oldest friend though, met him on Day 1 of Primary 1 and he's just bought a nice house and about to settle down (MARRY!) his girl next year so I have a bit of a 'losing my bro' feeling although his girl is actually pretty sweet so it's all good. But it's so strange how we think so differently, he's got that 'super close family thing' going where his relatives meet up almost every week and stuff, so that close knit family thing is ingrained in him. I'm more of a holiday/party with close friends kinda person and can't entertain any serious rships (let alone marriage!) at the moment! Life is fvcking short though Ryry. Too short to waste thinking about people who don't matter so spend and cherish the time with the people who do! Btw, happy birthday  ....sorry for the late wish but the US GP timing just screwed up my actual day. I took a half day and just woke up.  |
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Post by LRW on Oct 26, 2015 8:28:59 GMT
Oh sorry RyRy - I didn't realise it was actually your birthday! Happy birthday mate!!
I am 100% shit with wishing people happy birthday. I forget most people. And I definitely don't do birthday cards.
But then I don't expect anything on mine either.
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Post by racechick on Oct 26, 2015 8:53:59 GMT
First of all RyRY Happy birthday!!! I missed that last night in my slightly drunken euphoric state. This comes from your adoptive mum.  I think you've hit the nail on the head yourself regarding who is a true friend. It's the ones you would go to if you had a problem or something you needed to sound off about. And it wouldn't really matter if you hadn't seen them for months, years. Imagine a problem, or a situation you want to talk over, now think who would you talk it over with? Who would you trust? Those are your real friends. With life commitments, work etc, it's not possible alwys to stay in close contact, but your real friends you know will still be there even after time. And it will be just the same as it was when you see them I have a best friend, very different to me, of over thirty years. I also have about six others that I see less often but are very good friends I could talk to. And then there's another layer of friends, good friends, but not so close. I have some real friends on here, I proably talk to you guys more than real life friends. And I know there are people here I could go to if I wanted to run a problem past someone. I know it would be treated confidentially and Id be listened to. Those people who appear all smiley but would stick a knife in your back, don't waste your time on them. |
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Post by RyRy on Oct 26, 2015 9:43:35 GMT
Oh sorry RyRy - I didn't realise it was actually your birthday! Happy birthday mate!! I am 100% shit with wishing people happy birthday. I forget most people. And I definitely don't do birthday cards. But then I don't expect anything on mine either. Haha, cheers buddy. Yeah I don't like my this day every year >_< Yeah, you and me both. I have an awful memory but if I see or remember that a good friend birthday is about then I would go and wish them a very happy birthday. I personally think birthday cards are the biggest waste of money, verbal, text or anything similar is more than enough. First of all RyRY Happy birthday!!! I missed that last night in my slightly drunken euphoric state. This comes from your adoptive mum. I think you've hit the nail on the head yourself regarding who is a true friend. It's the ones you would go to if you had a problem or something you needed to sound off about. And it wouldn't really matter if you hadn't seen them for months, years. Imagine a problem, or a situation you want to talk over, now think who would you talk it over with? Who would you trust? Those are your real friends. With life commitments, work etc, it's not possible alwys to stay in close contact, but your real friends you know will still be there even after time. And it will be just the same as it was when you see them I have a best friend, very different to me, of over thirty years. I also have about six others that I see less often but are very good friends I could talk to. And then there's another layer of friends, good friends, but not so close. I have some real friends on here, I proably talk to you guys more than real life friends. And I know there are people here I could go to if I wanted to run a problem past someone. I know it would be treated confidentially and Id be listened to. Those people who appear all smiley but would stick a knife in your back, don't waste your time on them. Thank you very much Mum! Haha Well, as for trust I only trust one person 100% and trust like two people 90%, the rest I am not so sure. I know some people don't even care about trust when it comes to friends which for me is crazy. Yeah it is hard to keep in contact with everyone who's a friend. The first person to say happy birthday to me was a girl who hasn't really spoken to me since last year and she's lovely but she's also likes to wind me up but even after arguing over something we both still are friends and care greatly about each other. She sent me a text apologising for being late with it and had a lovely little message which made me smile, that person there is what I'd call a friend. They are the worst type that you just mentioned, the fake smiley people who wouldn't care about stabbing you in the back. |
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Post by Wß on Oct 26, 2015 11:33:59 GMT
I hope you wern't just sucking up for birthday wishes RyRy! You know we love you.
Now about the friends thing.
I have friends that I met in grade school which I am still close to, our families get together give kids Christmas presents we talk about painful things and good things even though we may see one another once or twice a year and the occasional funeral now that we're all old and parents are even older.
I have a friend that I met a year ago and she's literally changed my life, she's that kind of person.
The internet facilitates the ability to have many acquaintances and keep relationships with people that we'd normally not because of the diluted social aspect of it.
A friend will pick you up at the air port, a friend will lend you money if you're in deep shit, a friend will tell you off and call you an asshole when you need it and a friend doesn't expect a call just to say hello otherwise they feel hurt. Life come first, friends make life more bearable and get you through the rough spots.
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Post by Wß on Oct 26, 2015 11:35:27 GMT
BTW, Friends the television show sucked balls, I know I'm in the minority with that sentiment.
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Post by LRW on Oct 26, 2015 12:59:53 GMT
BTW, Friends the television show sucked balls, I know I'm in the minority with that sentiment. What the F balls? Well. Each to their own. Oh and WB by the way I'm in deep shit - can you lend me $500? |
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Post by Wß on Oct 26, 2015 13:09:14 GMT
BTW, Friends the television show sucked balls, I know I'm in the minority with that sentiment. What the F balls? Well. Each to their own. Oh and WB by the way I'm in deep shit - can you lend me $500? How about if I tell you off and call you an asshole because you need it? |
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Post by RyRy on Oct 26, 2015 13:53:52 GMT
I hope you wern't just sucking up for birthday wishes RyRy! You know we love you. Now about the friends thing. I have friends that I met in grade school which I am still close to, our families get together give kids Christmas presents we talk about painful things and good things even though we may see one another once or twice a year and the occasional funeral now that we're all old and parents are even older. I have a friend that I met a year ago and she's literally changed my life, she's that kind of person. The internet facilitates the ability to have many acquaintances and keep relationships with people that we'd normally not because of the diluted social aspect of it. A friend will pick you up at the air port, a friend will lend you money if you're in deep shit, a friend will tell you off and call you an asshole when you need it and a friend doesn't expect a call just to say hello otherwise they feel hurt. Life come first, friends make life more bearable and get you through the rough spots. Haha, no it was seriously just about the friends it's just for me I find birthdays allows be too see who's a true friend and who's not. Friends that literally change your life for the better are awesome. Yeah, your last part I couldn't agree on more. BTW, Friends the television show sucked balls, I know I'm in the minority with that sentiment. I'm with you, it was shit BTW, Friends the television show sucked balls, I know I'm in the minority with that sentiment. What the F balls? Well. Each to their own. Oh and WB by the way I'm in deep shit - can you lend me $500? We need pictures of you up to your neck in shit! What the F balls? Well. Each to their own. Oh and WB by the way I'm in deep shit - can you lend me $500? How about if I tell you off and call you an asshole because you need it? Do it! |
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I'm sure if I dropped any of you a message asking for advice on something I'd get some advise back and likewise I would do the same for you 
(RC is my F1 mum haha)
....sorry for the late wish but the US GP timing just screwed up my actual day. I took a half day and just woke up. 
