natny
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Post by natny on Apr 16, 2016 15:42:51 GMT
Epic driving fail. The Lewis Hamilton story
I won a couple here and there, with a car so great it wasn't fair.
My car is still by far the best, but I just can't seem to beat the rest.
Ferarri have the crapper car, but beat me still with skill by far.
Rosberg just makes me look like poo, I wish he'd teach me a thing or two.
So here's my career , I'll sum up the lot, I started off average, then went to pot!
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Post by RyRy on Apr 16, 2016 17:57:04 GMT
Good poem, but what a load of bs.
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Post by Wß on Apr 16, 2016 22:26:25 GMT
It's filed under "fantasy".
Good poem though, but not up to the quality we have in the forum. One of out members could come up with something better than that, while standing at the supermarket check out line!
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natny
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Posts: 376
Likes: 68
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Post by natny on May 1, 2016 15:43:35 GMT
Sell out
sell out knew it, went and blew it,
lewis through his career away, for diamond rings and a fat pay day.
He could have been one of the greats, the great the great, great british fake.
"My team is cool, thank you guys" said through lying, cheating eyes.
He knows the deal, he knows what's up, the greatest ever british f### up!
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natny
Full Member
Posts: 376
Likes: 68
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Post by natny on May 1, 2016 15:44:21 GMT
refer to my comment on the race thread to understand the above poem
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natny
Full Member
Posts: 376
Likes: 68
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Post by natny on May 19, 2016 15:33:55 GMT
Round the outside
I spy with my wonky eye, the tiniest of gaps, I'll go round the outside.
Sure it's too small and he's closing the gap, but if it goes wrong I'll spout any old crap.
What luck, there's still room on this green bit of road, maybe I'll blame this on Rosberg's car mode.
Whoops that was slippery, felt almost like grass, I can plan my excuses while I watch these cars pass.
So now here I am right back down in third, about as much use as a big steaming turd!
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Post by Wß on May 19, 2016 18:20:26 GMT
The poetry gene was not passed on to this one. Tisk tisk.
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Post by RyRy on May 19, 2016 18:43:41 GMT
Round the outside I spy with my wonky eye, the tiniest of gaps, I'll go round the outside. Sure it's too small and he's closing the gap, but if it goes wrong I'll spout any old crap. What luck, there's still room on this green bit of road, maybe I'll blame this on Rosberg's car mode. Whoops that was slippery, felt almost like grass, I can plan my excuses while I watch these cars pass. So now here I am right back down in third, about as much use as a big steaming turd! That was by far your worst poetry piece, RC can you improve it?
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Post by racechick on May 19, 2016 19:06:32 GMT
I'll see what I can do.
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Post by LRW on May 19, 2016 21:30:28 GMT
Round the outside I spy with my wonky eye, the tiniest of gaps, I'll go round the outside. Sure it's too small and he's closing the gap, but if it goes wrong I'll spout any old crap. What luck, there's still room on this green bit of road, maybe I'll blame this on Rosberg's car mode. Whoops that was slippery, felt almost like grass, I can plan my excuses while I watch these cars pass. So now here I am right back down in third, about as much use as a big steaming turd! The content is tripe. But the delivery and artistic flare is just as good as anything racechick delivers.
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Post by racechick on May 20, 2016 0:08:49 GMT
Just back from a couple of days away with my friend ( shopping and spa) bit of a rushed response, but here we go.............
THE BIG SQUEEZE.
Warm up lap, time to go, Nice and steady, nice and slow. Bring them round and back them up, Don't want another start f***up. Can't let the Mercs get too hot, Need a smooth run off my spot. Lights out, engines screaming, Nico tucks in, starts slipstreaming, Snaps right and takes the lead, Keep it cool, don't squeeze. Follow close, watch for a chance Car on edge, see it dance.
But what's this? Nico's de-rating, Red lights flashing, speed abating. The guys in trouble, I'm gaining fast, I'm pulling right and going past. NIco fiddling in his cockpit, Cant find the switch and lost his post-it. He cuts aggressively across the track, 'NO WAY mate you're coming back'.
Hamilton's wing is just inside, So now Rosberg can't push wide. 'One cars width', that's the rule. Rosberg ignores it! What a tool! He squeezes Hamilton onto the grass And takes them both out in a crash.
I guess the stewards forgot their rule, And Lauda made himself look a fool. Another show of Nico's guile, Dirty tricks, poor racing style. Next podium I wouldn't mind betting, It's more boos that he'll be getting.
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Post by LRW on May 20, 2016 11:25:27 GMT
Now that is a comeback RC.
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Post by Wß on May 20, 2016 11:43:12 GMT
I'd buy the book!
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natny
Full Member
Posts: 376
Likes: 68
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Post by natny on May 21, 2016 13:38:10 GMT
Just back from a couple of days away with my friend ( shopping and spa) bit of a rushed response, but here we go............. THE BIG SQUEEZE. Warm up lap, time to go, Nice and steady, nice and slow. Bring them round and back them up, Don't want another start f***up. Can't let the Mercs get too hot, Need a smooth run off my spot. Lights out, engines screaming, Nico tucks in, starts slipstreaming, Snaps right and takes the lead, Keep it cool, don't squeeze. Follow close, watch for a chance Car on edge, see it dance. But what's this? Nico's de-rating, Red lights flashing, speed abating. The guys in trouble, I'm gaining fast, I'm pulling right and going past. NIco fiddling in his cockpit, Cant find the switch and lost his post-it. He cuts aggressively across the track, 'NO WAY mate you're coming back'. Hamilton's wing is just inside, So now Rosberg can't push wide. 'One cars width', that's the rule. Rosberg ignores it! What a tool! He squeezes Hamilton onto the grass And takes them both out in a crash. I guess the stewards forgot their rule, And Lauda made himself look a fool. Another show of Nico's guile, Dirty tricks, poor racing style. Next podium I wouldn't mind betting, It's more boos that he'll be getting.
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Post by racechick on May 21, 2016 13:38:39 GMT
Lol
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Post by CookinFlat6 on May 21, 2016 14:17:29 GMT
Now those 2 poems reflect the difference between Lewis and Nico. One of them is the real deal - quality and depth, and the other is lightweight, lots of tricks but near zero craft
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natny
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Likes: 68
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Post by natny on May 21, 2016 15:06:59 GMT
The hare and the tortoise
'Slow and steady, that's my motto', muffled Hamilton whilst down on Toto.
'thanks so much for letting me race', he said whilst starting to work the base.
'but won't they wonder how I got the job?', he asked as Toto filled his gob
'Thanks so much for this wonderful chance, that granted I got from inside your pants'
'But how did Rosberg get the drive?' he asked with big wide watery eyes
'Because he's the best driver pound for pound, now where's my god damn reach around!!?'
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Post by racechick on May 21, 2016 15:25:35 GMT
Whats a 'reach around'? Or shouldn't I ask?
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natny
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Posts: 376
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Post by natny on May 21, 2016 15:30:15 GMT
It's like a hand shake between really really good friends
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Post by racechick on May 21, 2016 15:51:08 GMT
You mean like when you say to someone, "come here, let me give you a hug" But instead you say " come here, let me give you a wrap around " ?
Hmmmm. Not sure I believe you.,
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